Help the tsunderes
by Cassie Studios
Summary: Love and her right hand Aphrodite visit the world of Hetalia, where they decide to help a certain Englishman win the affections of a certain American boy. France features prominently as well. Mostly non-romantic, although I'm planning on a little shonen-ai bonus in the epilogue.
1. International Affairs

**A/N:** Hello again, fellow USxUK fans. This time something longer :) I have decided to use my own characters to add to the story, but obviously the main focus will be on Alfred and mostly Arthur, whom I adore.

Love is a character that originated six years ago in a fic "The Challenge", which I wrote for the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom. You can read it if You like, although it is not neccessary to understand this story. Love is simply a goddess of love and desire. Over the years I developed the character of Aphrodite, who has debuted in one of my original short stories, but this is the first fanfic in which she appears.

Read and enjoy :)

**Disclaimer:** Hetalia, its characters and setting don't belong to me. However, I do own the characters of Love and Ditty.

* * *

**Chapter One: International Affairs**

Aphrodite entered the room, holding a stack of folders in her arms.

"Koi-sama?"

"Yes?" the other woman, the personification of love _itself_, looked up from her desk. She had long, wavy, red hair and mysterious green eyes. Eyes that seemed to look at you indulgently but at the same time could pierce your very soul.

"I found this in the storage room, it was covered in dust… I think the data is misplaced. The names and nationalities are switched; I just wanted to say that I'll have it fixed soon."

"Names and nationalities?" the catlike eyes sparkled with sudden realization. Love reached for the folders. "Give that to me!"

Having received the papers, she turned over a few of the sheets. Her lips formed a fond smile.

"Why Ditty! You've brought me something really precious!"

"I… I did?" her subordinate, rightfully so, looked utterly confused.

"It's the data from the Hetalia world!"

Aphrodite didn't look any less bewildered than before this explanation. Her superior frowned slightly.

"Have I never taken you to the Hetalia world?"

"I believe you haven't, Koi-sama."

"How come? Granted, I haven't been there for a while myself, but I've certainly visited it a couple of times in the past… Oh, right. Now that I think of it, you've always been on a mission at the time. I'm really sorry, you've missed on some hilarious stuff…"

"Koi-sama," Aphrodite politely cut in. "What is Hetalia?"

"Oh," said Love, and Ditty could see that mischievous smile forming on the face of her superior. "Hetalia is something… really interesting. It's a world where countries are made into people."

"Personification of countries?" Aphrodite's big blue eyes grew even wider. She looked towards the stack of folders with consideration. "So… the data isn't misplaced after all… right?"

"Right. Their primary name is that of their nationality. Human names come after that. The order is right in these papers."

Aphrodite still looked confused, but one could also see the burning curiosity in her beautiful features. Love smiled and decided to indulge her aide. She stood up, gathered the stack of folders into one hand and with the other one she took Ditty's hand.

"Come. I have to check on them anyway."

* * *

The conference room buzzed merrily with a multitude of quiet voices. Most of the nations had already settled comfortably in their seats, chatting about recent economical events. Germany waited for everyone to quiet down and as the meeting finally started, no one seemed to have noticed a couple of women, who suddenly appeared in the corner of the room.

"There's a meeting, how sweet," Love shifted the folders from one arm to the other. "You'll be able to see everyone!"

Aphrodite listened to her only partially while her gaze wandered in wonder around the people present at the conference. They looked like any ordinary crowd. Was it really true that they were nations?

"Come on, I'll fill you in," Love seemed to be unusually happy about all this. She opened one of the folders. "So first… that blonde guy who's talking right now. Germany. He seems stern, but he's really sweet on the inside, and see that guy with a curl? No, the other one. That's Italy, his childhood sweetheart, but neither knows about it."

"How come they don't know? Do nations lose their memories or something?"

"Only Germany did. See, he's really the…"

"Objection!" a loud voice interrupted the meeting. A bespectacled young man stood up from his seat and proclaimed: "This plan sucks! But I have a better one, so everyone listen to me and then we'll do as I say!"

Love didn't seem to be bothered by this outburst as she continued describing Italy and Germany's relationship.

"…and so Italy sometimes stays overnight at Germany's house and then he crawls into his bed, you really should see Ludwig's face when he realizes. It never ceases to freak him out. And then one time, on Valentine's Day, I finally grew impatient and I showed Germany his memories from when he and Italy were children, but then I had to go take care of some urgent business and… yeah," she consulted the folder, "I guess not much has happened after that."

She shifted the papers and opened another folder.

"Then there's Italy's brother, Romano. That's the other guy with the curl. He swears so that your ears wither and pretends to be his own person, but there's just one other that he seems to be fond of… Incidentally, that other receives the most curses from him. He's sitting beside him, the guy with the perpetual smile. That's Spain, his former guardian and… and let's leave it at that," Love smiled and Aphrodite didn't have to ask for more details.

As she was describing each nation, Love continued browsing through the data in her hands. She needed to refresh her memory, but then again, no one could expect her to remember every detail about every person she'd ever come in contact with.

"Hungary and Austria. I love them, they're so sweet together. Especially that Elizabeta is the man and Roderich is the woman in this relationship… And Prussia, Hungary's childhood friend… He still has some feelings for her, but I don't think it would've worked out, so…"

"And who is this one?" Aphrodite seemed to have taken a few steps in the meantime, away from her superior and closer to a man with shoulder-length brown hair, who was petting a cat sitting in his lap. Somehow, she felt incredibly drawn to him.

Love smiled at her aide. "I should've expected that. This is Greece, your homeland."

"Greece," Aphrodite came even closer, almost brushing the man's arm in wonder. She could not believe her own eyes. Her country, her homeland, sitting now in front of her with a white cat on his lap?

Then suddenly Greece turned around, like he could feel her presence, and Ditty quickly backed away. She couldn't be discovered. For a while Greece stared in confusion at the exact spot where Aphrodite had been standing just a moment ago, but then he slowly turned back to face the others.

"That was close."

"Be more careful, honey," said Love indulgently, but before she could open another folder, the same loud voice from before drowned out everything else.

"But we could just build a big Transformer-like hero and be done with it!"

"Who is he?" Ditty shifted her attention away from Greece and towards the young, bespectacled man. "He's obnoxiously loud."

"That's America, my dear," Love smiled fondly. "A cute kid, really… and a self-proclaimed hero. He does come across as obnoxious, true, but he means well."

"And his girlfriend? …Boyfriend?" she added as a second thought.

"None, but if we're talking about the person closest to him, that would be England."

She pointed at a blonde man with thick eyebrows, who was suddenly getting redder and redder as his eyes were firmly fixed on America.

"England found and raised America, but then America decided that he wanted independence and broke away from Arthur. England still loves him, though."

"But it's not romantic?"

"No, it's not."

"So shouldn't we leave it for Friendship, then?"

Love grinned. "No, honey. What is going on between the two of them is definitely _my_ territory."

Aphrodite looked at England, whose blush by now seemed to have invented a new shade of burgundy.

"England-san, are you all right?"

Both women and a few of the nations turned to the black-haired man with slim eyes.

"Japan" supplied Love, as England assured the Asian nation of his well-being. "Very nice, but also very quiet."

"And that one?" Aphrodite pointed at a handsome man with long, blonde hair, who was now mocking England and getting yelled at in return.

Love's smile seemed to grow even fonder, in a way that Ditty had seen only on very special occasions.

"That's France. My favorite," she said, and somehow there was a dreamy shade to her voice. "The only one I've ever shown myself to."

"You've shown yourself to France? Why?"

"He's…" Love searched for an appropriate word. "Well, he's _special_."

Ditty didn't ask. She contemplated the handsome man for a while and then turned to a tall guy with a scarf.

"And him?"

"Oh," Love snapped out of her meditations. "That's Russia, and next to him is his younger sister Belarus, and…" she read the details in her folder and her face dropped. "…and I think I've really screwed things up in here."

* * *

The meeting was relatively short, ending after approximately an hour and a half. During that whole time Ditty would curiously read through all the folders and observe the nations' behavior, occasionally asking her superior some questions regarding their relationships. She was especially interested in Germany and Italy and the dynamics of the Spain-Romano duo, but once she'd heard about Japan being Greece's possible love interest, she abandoned other topics and focused solely on her homeland.

After the meeting ended and the nations started flowing out of the room, Love concluded with a heavy sigh:

"There's so much mess in here. I should've come here to clean up a long time ago, really. But then again, international affairs can be so changeable…"

"We can fix some of that now, Koi-sama" offered Aphrodite, very keen on staying longer in this newly discovered world. Her superior smiled her usual, indulgent smile.

"You want an adventure?"

"Very much," Aphrodite looked around the room in search of her target. Unfortunately, Greece had already left and so did Japan, taking the loud America with him. But France was still there. France, with his long hair, manly stubble and the air of a man well aware of his attractiveness. He was bickering with England, the only other nation present in the room now. Ditty thought that even in receiving vicious insults from Arthur Francis was absolutely charming.

Love started to browse through the folders once again. Aphrodite listened to the two nations bicker, until finally France left too, leaving only England, who slowly and meticulously arranged his documents before putting them into his briefcase. It almost looked like he stayed behind on purpose. As England looked around the room, apparently checking if he was alone, Ditty concluded that he probably did.

And then England raised his gaze and fixed it upon Love and her aide. Aphrodite's eyes widened. It was evident that he could see them, but how?

"Who are you?" Arthur asked warily.

Love's red head snapped up and she stared back at England. Then, without saying a word, she searched for his file, opened it and read through the "Trivia" section.

"'Able to see supernatural creatures'," she read out loud in a somewhat flat voice. "Oh. Oh! Yeah… I think France once mentioned something like that… but I forgot."

The two women and the one nation remained silent for a while. Finally England circled the table and came in front of the red-headed woman. To her superior's side, Aphrodite was playing uneasily with one of her luxurious blonde locks.

"Are you really… the goddess of love?" Arthur asked, evidently unsure whether he wasn't making a fool out of himself.

"Of course I am. Did you hear our whole conversation?"

"Most of it," he admitted. "Not the parts when America was speaking, though."

"Oh!" Ditty's face fell, as she realized that during the meeting she had asked some insensitive questions about England as well. "I'm sorry for doubting your relationship skills… and for ridiculing your eyebrows."

"It's fine," he answered as if he were used to hearing such things.

"Did you find any mistakes in our data?" asked Love matter-of-factly. "This info might be pretty outdated."

"Well I don't know," England frowned defensively. "I don't exactly go around and sneak into people's beds." Then he added a little more quietly, as if to himself: "I didn't even know that Germany and Italy had _that_ kind of a relationship."

Love watched him with a strangely sad expression. She closed his folder and sighed.

"England."

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" he frowned again.

"For all those years. You really didn't deserve it."

England didn't answer that, but only looked into her catlike eyes. They locked gazes for a moment and Ditty felt like she was missing a piece of information; like they both knew and understood something without having to put it into words.

"I can help you," Love finally said. "You want me to, right?"

"Well…" he spluttered. "It's not like I came to you to ask that of you or anything…"

"It's decided then," Love turned to her aide. "And you, Ditty, will have your adventure."

Aphrodite looked from her superior to England, who looked unsure, but at the same time a bit relieved. She beamed at him and jumped with joy.

"Yay! I'm going to London!"

* * *

**A/N:** I hope You like both Love and Ditty, because they will be present in all the subsequent chapters.

I will update as soon as I have written the second chapter.

Please review!


	2. The Girlfriend

**A/N:** It's been a while, but here's chapter two! And France makes an appearance! :)

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Hetalia nor its characters. I do own the charaters of Aphrodite and Love, though.

* * *

**Chapter Two: The Girlfriend**

For the next couple of days Ditty was getting accustomed to living in London with England. She had been worrying whether she would be able to connect with her host, but fortunately he seemed to be a really nice gentleman. Ditty got her own room and its adjacent bathroom, as well as free access to anything she needed, be it the kitchen or the TV. Most of the time though she would spend with England, observing him, trying to figure out his character and listening to him talk about his former foster child.

"Yes, I know," he said after Ditty told him about her first impression of America. "He is quite full of himself and rarely listens to others. Even though he's still a kid and knows next to nothing about the world," he added grudgingly, squatting down and checking on the scones in the oven. It was after dinner and Arthur had offered to prepare something sweet to the afternoon tea.

"Well he did gain independence from you, right?" Ditty casually leaned against the counter. "That has to mean that he's at least capable of taking care of himself."

England raised, turning away from her. "Yeah, I guess it does."

Aphrodite immediately picked up his defeated tone of voice.

"I'm sorry, that was insensitive," she apologized, remembering the data from the folders that she'd read before.

"It's ok. It's been almost 250 years now. I should've got over it already."

"If you didn't, then that means there's still something you have to do before that. Like, talk to America about that, maybe."

"It's not really an easy subject, you know."

"Yeah, but imagine the relief you will feel when you've finally gotten it out of your system."

England supported himself on the counter with one hand and rubbed at his face with the other one.

"I… I never got the guts to do it, actually," he admitted. His voice seemed tired and resigned at the same time. "After the war we didn't talk much… or rather, we didn't talk at all. I had my people take care of all matters 'America' instead of doing it myself, and it was a bumpy century. It took a hundred years after the Revolutionary War for me to finally look him in the eye… and even then I could not confront him about what had happened. You know, it was too late, and it wouldn't have changed anything."

"Maybe you'd at least feel better today if you had talked to him then."

"And what would I have said? What was there to tell him? He didn't regret what he did and I didn't believe that our relations could be fixed. I just… had to adapt to the new situation. That's all."

"What if he wants to be on good terms with you too?"

"Yeah, right," England smiled bitterly. "He's turned me down so many times that I have no idea why I'm even trying anymore."

"Turned you down?" repeated Ditty. In her head it sounded like a romantic relationship in making; such thinking was probably just a habit, though, necessitated by her profession.

"He constantly shows me that he doesn't need me," England seemed to have missed the implications of his previous words. "Criticizes me, pushes me away and ridicules me. I sometimes wonder if his rare gestures of good will are actually there just because he wants to indulge his boss."

"But he did help you in the war, right?"

"Yeah… well… he did…"

"You know, Arthur," Ditty gracefully brushed her hair away from her shoulder. "I don't really believe that he could hate you. From what I've read, you two have been pretty close during his colony times." She made a small pause; the idea of people being countries still perplexed her a bit. "Anyway… could you call him?"

"What?" England's eyes grew wide. He didn't expect that.

"Call him. Or invite him over. Or go to his place. I need to see how you two interact with each other to devise a good plan."

"You'll be able to see us together next week, when there's a conference at France's place."

"I can't wait till next week, Arthur! Call him now, at least!"

England was astonished to see her so determined, but decided to indulge her in her request. He reasoned with himself that Aphrodite, as Love's right hand, must have known what she was doing.

"But what am I supposed to tell him?" he asked, already holding his cell phone.

"That you just wanted to say hello or something."

"We don't do that. He'll get suspicious."

"Then ask him about next week's meeting."

"We don't really do that either."

"Don't you two ever talk about anything?" Ditty seemed a bit frustrated at this point.

"Well, we usually just hurl insults at each other…"

"Oh for God's sake," Ditty snatched the phone from England's hand and searched for America's number.

"You are quite impatient for a person that has to deal with people in love for a job," observed England, now slightly worried about what she could do with the phone.

"I am very patient, but you're not cooperating. Or maybe I just have little patience for the tsundere types."

"The what?"

But Ditty had already dialed the number and was waiting for America to pick up.

"Hello…?" came a voice from the other end of the line.

"Oh my, Arthur, I think I have accidentally called some poor soul," chirped Aphrodite, shoving the phone into England's hand while giving him a meaningful look. England took the phone, staring at Ditty with mild anxiety.

"Hello? America?"

"England? Who was that just now?"

"That was… err…" England stared some more as Aphrodite pointedly mouthed the words _no one_. "Um… that's just my friend, she's visiting me right now…" he was relieved a bit to see Ditty giving him an approving nod.

"Cool! I didn't know you had female friends! Did you find her through a dating site?"

"You…" England spluttered. "You bloody git! I'll have you know that I am perfectly capable of finding friends in the real world!"

"Geez, calm down. It's just so unusual, I've never seen you with a girl before. Is she someone new?"

"Um… yeah, you could say that."

"Wow, that's unexpected," said America and behind these words England could feel that America had already made an opinion on his relationship with Aphrodite. "Are you taking her to the meeting next week?"

England looked at Aphrodite, who nodded. "Yeah, I think I just might."

"Wow, you're serious about her! I can't believe an old geezer like you actually found a…"

"The fact that I'm older just means that I'm wiser and more mature than you are!" snapped England. "You bloody brat!"

"Haha! Should you be calling me names when she's around?"

"Maybe I wouldn't if you stopped acting like a spoiled punk!"

"A punk? Isn't that your domain?"

"Shut up!"

"I hope you're not feeding her with your scones. If you do that I doubt she'll survive for long."

"The scones!" shouted England, more to himself than to America now. Aphrodite suddenly realized that there was a smell of something burning all over the kitchen.

They could hear America laugh mirthfully at the other end of the line, but England quickly disconnected and dropped the phone. Ditty provided him with the gloves and he swiftly slipped them on, but it was already too late. When he opened the oven, they were greeted with a puff of smoke and a sad sight of half-burnt scones.

"Um…" began England. "That didn't go very well, did it."

"Yeah, I guess," replied Ditty, looking into the oven as well. "But at least I have some data now."

England snickered bitterly. "Now he thinks you're my girlfriend."

"That's fine, it's what we've been aiming at anyway. We actually use the girlfriend strategy quite often. It's super effective."

"So…" England glanced over at her and cleared his throat. "So… since I've burnt the scones… maybe you'd like to go out for the afternoon tea? I know a place that serves some good blends."

"Of course!" Ditty grinned at him. "Can we go sightseeing on the way there? I really want to see Big Ben!"

"Oh… yes, if you'd like to."

"Great! And I'm sorry about your scones."

"It's ok." her host sighed defeatedly. "Happens all the time."

* * *

After three hours of sightseeing and drinking delicious tea, Aphrodite and England were back at the latter's apartment. England took out his embroidery kit and began the work while Ditty settled herself on the couch, quite exhausted from the trip.

"That was the best afternoon I've had in ages," she said. England quirked an eyebrow with a small, amused smile.

"Literally?"

"Well," Ditty laughed. "Maybe not _literally_. But it's been a while."

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"Of course I did! Did you?"

"Yes, quite."

"Even though you've seen all those places a thousand times?"

England smiled again, still not averting his eyes from his work. "Yes. Although sightseeing in London indeed does not amuse me as much, I enjoyed your company. I'm… I'm usually alone in here. I have been alone ever since the Revolutionary War."

Aphrodite noticed the sadness in his eyes as he said it. "You never tried to make friends beside America?"

"No. When America left me, I just… closed up. I don't want this to happen to me again."

"But you're suffering."

"It's better this way. It sucks, but at least it's steady."

"How do you know it would not work out with someone else?"

"Think about it. If the person that I cared for so much, that I… loved so much," England's voice was slightly trembling now, "…if even _he_ left me, then what can I expect from people who are merely my friends or acquaintances?"

"Arthur," Ditty got up from the couch and walked to him. "Don't say that. You can't just assume that it will go wrong and so not try at all."

She stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning closer. England winced at the unexpected touch, but didn't struggle.

"I think," said Ditty cheerfully, "that you are a very fine gentleman and I see no reason why you shouldn't have someone to love you."

England glanced sideways at her, clearly not believing a word of it. Aphrodite looked him in the eye.

"_Really_," she emphasized.

"But…"

"Stop moping. We'll do something about that loneliness of yours. We never fail. And my boss is a genius."

"I bet she is, but…"

"No 'buts'," Aphrodite placed a finger on his lips to silence him. England looked at her in bewilderment…

…and that's how France found them seconds later, bursting into the room.

"England! I've heard you've found yourself a girlfriend…"

France stopped in his tracks at the sight, taking it in. "Oh my, I hope I'm not interrupting anything…?"

Ditty straightened herself and flicked her hair away from her shoulders. England just stared at the unexpected guest.

"How exactly did you get into my apartment?"

"_Mon Dieu_, it's really not that difficult, especially if one is as curious as I was…"

"About what?"

"Well, America called me and said that you have a girlfriend, so obviously I had to check that" replied the Frenchman, eyeing Aphrodite with an approving smile. "But _Angleterre_, I never knew you actually had such good taste in women. _Enchanté, mademoiselle_," he said as he approached her and stretched out his hand. Aphrodite slowly took it and France kissed the back of her palm. Then, for a split second, his expression changed, but it vanished before anyone could notice. Only his eyes now held a strange mix of playfulness and mysterious understanding.

"Francis," he said, looking up into Ditty's eyes. She almost blushed.

"Um…" she briefly glanced at England and replied: "Alice. Nice to meet you."

"Alice," he repeated, finally letting go of her hand. "A nice name, but not nearly befitting your extraordinary beauty."

"Thank you," this time she did blush. He was so charming.

"So, _Angleterre_," France apparently liked to use his language around Ditty to impress her. "I've heard you're taking this beautiful lady to our meeting at my place next week."

England cleared his throat. "Yes, in fact I am."

"So she _knows_?"

"Yes, she does."

Ditty giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh Francis, I can't tell you how excited I am! I never knew people like you existed! It is so nice of Arthur to let me meet all the others! And I swear," she added as an afterthought, ignoring the look England was giving her at her strange outburst, "the secret is safe with me! I will not let it out to anyone!"

England did not stop staring for the entire evening, as Ditty continued to blab to France about various unimportant things and he in turn apparently tried to woo her away from Arthur. When France finally left, with the romantically delivered promise of meeting again next week, England eyed his "girlfriend" suspiciously.

"Is there a reason you've suddenly changed into an airhead?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. Ditty brushed her hair away.

"Of course. It is best that I act like an idiot, so nobody would suspect me of executing any plans," she replied casually.

"Is that a part of what you usually do as well?"

"Yes, in fact it is."

England looked at her, thinking about her impressive acting skills. "You're really good at this, aren't you?"

"Of course!" she beamed and winked at him. "I've learned from the best of the best."

* * *

**A/N:** Next chapter: the world meeting in France. America will make an actual appearance!

Read and review, please :)


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